Years have past since I've been here last. Oh sure, I plan to move all those random "blog" entries so it looks like I poked in every now and then. But actually I was surprised this blog was still here, AND I remembered the password. I went back and read all that I had put down and it made me remember all that I had not. There IT was! All the reasons I hadn't been blogging, all the excuses I've made for not writing, right there! It makes no difference if I write about my today... TODAY, it will really matter later down the road. It seems they don't kid about time moving faster as you get older. And with 30 beating down my door, I suddenly feel the need to be me.
How odd. The age I always thought I'd have everything figured out by, seems to be the age I finally want to start figuring me out. There is so much about me that was. Then there came all that there is of me in the role I play in the day to day. Like there is a big block wall between the artistic and fantastical girl and the reliable and consistent mother. Because of the time and space in which I became a mother I just never had an integration process. I emerged from one world, one body, one mind; to submerge into something completely different. Not that it was wrong, it was what I needed to do to get through a time in my life. And now that my head is finally bobbing above water I can see that it is now time to find a merge. I can realize dreams that I had once, but I must find he ebb and flow. And it starts here, pen to paper, practice.
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