Sunday, August 27, 2006

Secrets are so hard tp keep.

How do you hide something that is becoming so obvious? You just want to scream "I'm pregnant, not fat!", but technically you aren't allowed to tell. The doctor will see you at nine weeks, with his thumbs up you get to announce your, impending little bundle. Until then you are just getting fatter, going to the gym a couple times a week.
Perhaps I wouldn't be getting much bigger if it weren't for the late night cereal craving that has popped up. I can't complain, this WILL be the last time and I really do want to enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to blow up like a Macy's day float, but I want to stop sweating the scale and just try to be healthy. "Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Healthy Feels"
I must admit I did/do have some reservations about this pregnancy, but I know that will all be washed away as our next addition begins to move about in a way that I can feel. How will I manage all 3? Will even more of me be swept under the rug until I can "get around to it"? Am I just asking to be committed? And as much as I can say I will love and adore being a mommy to yet another baby boy, there is this tiny voice inside that is begging for a daughter. For me...yes, but more so for Jer. The joy of being a father to a daughter, having "Daddy's little girl", her seeing him as the biggest and strongest man ever. And I know because he is such a wonderful husband, father and man, he will be the one she compares all men too. Thank goodness she will have that and not suffer for years trying to figure out how she "should" be treated.
Of course I am realistic and I know we could very well be adding another boy to our brood, at least I will remain Queen of my castle and share my crown or jewels with no-one. Not to mention I have all the hand-me-downs a baby boy could ever need.