Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Hey that's MY cub!

We had many a long talks with T over the weekend about getting dropped off with the other kids and getting in line with his class all on his own Monday morning. He not only seemed okay with it, but excited, even as we pulled in and made the circle. But when the nice young teacher opened the van door and started to help with his backpack Tristan began stranger danger panic. "No mommy, please walk with me."
"But honey, your class is lined up and waiting right there, I can see them. Go hop in line, she will help you."
"Yeah, come on buddy. I'll walk you over." She was encouraging and soft, obviously dealt with this a time or two.
"Noooooo, please mommeeeeeee!" As he used all his might to tug his backpack back in the van. 
I threw a sheepish smile at the teacher, "I'll just park and walk him in, it's okay." She tossed me a reassuring wink, and closed the door.
We unloaded the crew and had to wait outside the class door for the rest of the class and Mrs.M to make their way in. His enthusiasm was fading. I deposited him at the end of the line as he begged me to walk him in, I explained I couldn't with Mims and Z. Mrs.M took his hand and began to guide him from me inside as he called out "Mommy please don't leave me!" Mrs.M and I exchanged understanding smiles as she reassured him I would be back for him sooner than he thought and the door closed. Another mom overheard walking by and gave a "sympathetic" Awww
"This started in the drop off area. I think I expected too much too soon."
"Both my boys cried the first bit of kindergarten. But my baby girl has been so eager since day one, although I cried when I sent each of them off."
"I'm hoping if I just gradually back off how far I'm willing to go with him it will ease the transition, last week was all the way into class. Baby steps." 
And then she said it, "Well did you check his pinky finger before you left?"
"HUH?" 
"To make sure you weren't still wrapped around it."
I was too surprised to have a come back. Fortunately we had reached the outside of the front doors and parted ways into the parking lot. As I loaded the other kids up and I ran over and over the brief conversation in my head. Had this mom who was sympathizing and sharing her kindergarten woes with me, just insulted me? I was really trying to make this a positive experience for everyone, doing the best with the parenting skills I have and really, I know my kid better than anyone. I decided to shrug it off, what are the odds I'd be dealing with her again, her "golden daughter" wasn't in T's class.
TUESDAY: The decision was made to this week, walk T to the drop off area and let him line up with his class while mommy watched from afar. But again resistance and begging to walk in with him. So, to avoid a bigger melt down, we decided this week I would walk to class with him, next week I would only walk to the drop off area, then graduate to actually being dropped off. We brought up the tail of his class line, since mommy only gave in because we had reached the time to walk into school, and had to jump in back. As I followed T and the rest, with Mims and Z in tow, I heard a conversation taking place behind me.
"Oh it was so sad, there was a little boy yesterday STILL crying on day 4 of kindergarten. And his mom just left with him so upset." I tossed a glance over my shoulder, it was HER! She went on about the "poor boy", my boy. I finally turned and very quietly and nicely said. "That was MY boy, and me." She looked surprised and gave me a "Oh I'm sure it wasn't." 
"Oh I'm pretty sure it was." We made it to T's class and got him in without incident. After the door closed I wheeled around, SHE was still talking with the other mother in the hall. "And I checked to make sure I adequately unwound myself from his pinky today. Thanks for the concern." We left her looking stunned with her mouth hung agape.

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