Violated

There is no worse feeling than that feeling of personal violation you get from a stranger when they take it upon themselves to come uninvited into your space, rummage through your things and take whatever they choose. So you can imagine the feeling I got when I opened my van to find the contents of my glove box gone through and thrown about, the contents of Miriam's diaper bag purged into the passenger seat, diaper bag gone, all of my random change snatched and the cap Jer had left on the dash also gone. I can't seem to recall any of the other things I may have had in the van that could be missing. I am thankful that I had removed my IPod just the other day, using it while I cleaned my couch. Perhaps Urbn's mishap was a blessing in disguise. Had I not used it last week and stored it in my purse, it would have been in the van at the time of said violation.

Although I shook and cursed the entire time I cleaned the mess, called Jer, Lashelle and my Mom to inform and vent profusely, it really was a cheap lesson to learn. Hell the Children's Place clothes of Miriam's that they dumped from the $2 diaper bag was worth more than the change. The most frustrating thing is it happened in my own driveway. My personal safety bubble had just been ruptured. And according to the community bulletin board home and vehicle break-ins were on the rise. Taking advantage of people feeling secure in their own neighborhood.

And I'm sure I didn't lock it on Sunday after groceries. So now we will be more diligent with locking the vehicles, closing the garage, checking doors and windows to make sure they are locked and setting the alarm anytime there will be nobody home. I for one will be at the next HOA meeting trying to rally the people of my small community to a neighborhood watch, because looking out for each other is our best bet. I will now watch over my shoulder, judging my surroundings in my own driveway as I would a parking lot. Because do we really know what or who is lurking. And it's just our comfort that has invited these evils in to take advantage of our quiet safety zone. No more, I will now have to question anything out of sorts or unusual because obviously better safe is always better than sorry. Not to mention I hate feeling violated.

Feeling grateful.

I try to be humble and grateful for all the fruits in my life. The many blessings that have been bestowed on me are mountains high. Today I am feeling especially special.



Last night we had dinner, drinks, and a movie with Lashelle and Aaron. Despite Aaron's newly accuired title of "Law Enforcement Officer" for the forestry service, we had a really good time. I'm gonna miss those two. I only wish our new "couples" friendship had been founded sooner. But all things have their reasons. We will surely be out to visit them in Cali soon enough. I will stick to my plan for a girls weekend in San Francisco for Lashelle's birthday in May. The boys want to tag along, and we may just have to do that if I can find someone crazy enough to take all three of my kiddos for 3 or 4 days.



Having Lashelle move is all too bitter sweet. Yes I do want my house back. It's been fun but I want Miriam in her own room again. I want to paint it frilly girl colors and put all her toys away. But that in turn means my bestfriend will be moving much further away. Seeing her so regularly, sometimes daily has spoiled me. We truly have an odd relationship as friends go, it's like Yin and Yang I suppose. Even our spouses are so different, yet seem to have a good time together. This year will truly be the start of something entirely new for me yet again. I will no doubt struggle at times, but look forward to the forced growth. I am really excited for them. Envy really. To get to move someplace entirely new. Setting off on an adventure like that with Jer and our little clan. I would love to move out of Arizona! New places and people. But alas our place is here.

So beyond the tears I will be wishing them all the best. Besides, having a vacation spot in Northern California ain't so bad.

Okay, let's try this again.

Another year and I'm am again vowing to blog, oh so much more. It's therapeutic. But instead of a long list of things I WILL do this year, a short list of things I WILL NOT do again/anymore this year;


1. I will stop stressing over money. It will always come and go, that is something I can count on. We are in a good place, stable, and we do not go without. It is undo stress.


2. I will not lose my temper. Really it gets me nowhere and ruins my day.


3. I will not skip yoga or dessert. Life is too short and they both make me sooooo happy and zen.


4. I will not try to be superwoman. I'm pretty damn good, killing myself to do it all faster isn't worth the aches.


5. I will not skip "me" time because I feel guilty. I am on shift 24/7, an hour here or there is a drop in the ocean.


6. I will not commit to things I can not realistically handle taking on.


7. I will not take for granted my children being so young and dependant on me. Really, how long will I get this for? Pretty soon they'll be annoying, ungrateful teenagers, dependant on me. At least now they are cute and timeout and naps are options.


8. I will not give up an opportunity to nap for an opportunity to clean. Nuff said.


9. I will not dwell on the past or spend too much time focusing on the future. I need to spend more time creating in the now.


10. I will not sweat the small stuff, and generally it all is.

Well the list was longer than intended and could have probably used some things I WILL try and do more of this year like spirituality and exercise, but I do that every year. I'm sure I'll look back at this in 11 months and find a new spin to try it all anew next new year. I guess intentions are like assholes.....